Tag Archives: self-indulgence

i’m going where there’s no depression

Awhile ago, somebody told me how lucky I am. “Yep, that’s me. I’m lucky. A veritable lottery winner… OF A REALLY MESSED UP LOTTERY!” Okay, so on that particular day I was clearly not in a space to hear how amazingly good someone else thinks I have it.

No matter how good or how bad you think your situation is, everyone should be allowed pity party days. The dress code for PP days is of course Jammie’s (maternity, if you’ve got ’em – though the “baby” is ten yrs old). On these days you should spoon marshmallow fluff into your face for sustenance and make origami swans from the piles of parental safeguards that you have stashed ’round the house. Laminate random objects – no, not the cat.* Test to see how much Velcro it would take to suspend yourself from the wall. Crank call your insurance company.

On my PP days, I invent policies against doing anything I don’t want to do & cite the fictional policies often. I listen to my favorite album, “No Depression” (irony noted) on a continuous loop. I read those obnoxiously upbeat Christmas letters from distant relatives with over-achieving children. I pick at the grout around the boys’ bathtub in an attempt to find the fulfillment that my youngest seems to find from picking it bare at any possible moment. So far, no transcendental experience for me.

I’d love to hear what other people do – not out of idle curiosity, but as inspiration for possible activities for future pity parties of my own. Please share. I’ve worn out two previous “No Depression” cd’s & I’m out of marshmallow fluff.

BTW, as of today a “No Depression” website exists. I’m not kidding. www.nodepression.com This news, along with the VP debate, makes it seem like Christmas in October for me!

Tonight is not the night for pity parties, depression or even continuing this post, for that matter. Gov. Palin just called Obama’s running mate “Senator O’Biden.” I remind myself while it’s not always good to be me, it’s better not to be her tonight. I’m going back to the debate.

the cheese says hoodies are sometimes reversible, jenny mac!

* don’t call Bob Barker – it’s  a reference that only six alt-country fans would get  an obscure reference to a song “Laminated Cat” by Loose Fur. No actual cats were harmed in the typing of this post nor was any actual lipstick applied to pigs.

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